Laduree and the Difficulties of Writing
Writing can be difficult, whether you write often or from time to time. Reporting dry information about a location in the world, a relatively well known business, or a person with accolade-a-plenty can be as simple as a three and a half minute Google search and some half decent regurgitation. Writing sincerely and from the heart is much, much harder. Producing something original, poignant and from personal experience for me sometimes is so difficult that I would rather produce a dry, uninteresting piece of writing than bare the thought of opening up personally. I’ve always prided myself in being an exceptional communicator, but in all honesty, I have a lot of trouble communicating feelings, especially in writing. I believe if you create something you should be able to be proud of it so I from here on out I am committing myself to writing thoughtfully and with my whole heart.
When I was younger, a lot of my feelings would just come out as self deprecating humor or just pure anger. I assumed a role of class clown for a very long time because dealing with my actual feelings about school, my family or even myself was too much to bare. Though I have overcome a lot of those defense mechanisms I harbored for so many years, I still have difficulties releasing my feelings even when writing something as simple as an experience of joy like when visiting Ladurée. While we were in London, one of the places we wanted to make sure we went to was Ladurée. We had to see first hand what all the fuss was about. Plus while we were traipsing around London we kept running into their shops and finally couldn’t resist any longer. Standing in their quaint golden shop to purchase some of their delectable treasures invoked all my senses. The smells of fruit and cocoa filled the air and everywhere I looked there was a different bursting color. Gentle Parisian music played over their speakers and everyone had a exquisite English accent. It was hard not to be giddy in a place so lovely.
Jade and I have worked a lot on making our own macarons, trying to perfect our methods, making our own recipes, and even giving them out at our wedding last year as party favors. Can you believe the first time we tried making them was for our wedding!? They turned out perfectly and from what I’ve heard from others, that was quite lucky! One of our first posts on this blog was a recipe for chocolate macarons. That post was easy for me to write because all I had to do is write down a process I had done time and time again. No real challenge but useful nonetheless. What I want to do more with my writing is infuse more of my heart into it. Jade does it on a day to day basis. Her photos express the way she sees and wants to see the world. It fills me with joy and wonder to see what she creates. I want my recollections of our mutual experiences to not only be reflections of the beautiful imagery she creates, but a unique juxtaposition. A juxtaposition of ideas and words that cause those who read it to know what our time in that situation was like, how we felt while we experienced it and opening up to sharing parts of my life that either relate or correlate with how I felt in that moment. It may be a lot to expect of myself in a singular blog post, but if I do not strive for more, if i do not expect excellence of myself in one way or another as the future draws closer and closer, how will I ever expect to grow as a writer?
I believe Jade and I both feel a yearning to grow. Though our time in London and Paris was magical we couldn’t help but feel a bit saddened once we were back home. But I don’t see this sadness as a bad thing. I see it as a wonderful awakening. There is so much out there that we want to do together and sometimes it seems so unattainable. But I thought I would never travel abroad… and I did. I thought I would never graduate college… and I did. I thought I would never fall in love and get married… and I did. If all those dreams can come true, what’s stopping me from turning more of my dreams into reality?