Trifecta

Trifecta

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Doctor: ‘These types of conditions: migraines, ulcerative colitis, irritable bowel syndrome, bladder sensitivity, etc, they seem to come in trifectas. We don’t know why, but they do.You seem to have a very sensitive system. You get really sick, really quickly and then it takes ages for things to get back to normal.’

Me: ‘Well… I guess I’m just lucky like that.’

This is from a conversation I had last week with one of my new doctors.

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Since 2009, I’ve had to battle to be heard. If you are sick and no one will listen, please don’t give up. For 2 years I had doctors tell me I simply had depression and that what I needed was antidepressants and a therapist. But I knew what I had was something more… something that was being overlooked because I was so young. I was depressed because I was in severe pain and couldn’t live my life. I honestly thought I was dying. But I kept pushing and finally got a doctor to agree to send me to a specialist. When I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, I wanted to call up all those doctors who had ignored me. I felt betrayed and heartbroken and angry that I had spent all this time being ill. Once on the proper medications, I was able to gain back much of my health which eventually led me to see a naturopath so I could learn to manage my illness without drugs. About a year into seeing him, I was off all my medications and my flares were few and far between. But sadly, my immune system is far from perfect and about two months ago a new symptom developed. A started feeling immense pressure and sharp pain in my bladder. This pain and pressure was constant and there was no relief. After seeing my primary care physician on three separate occasions in one month, I decided it was time to move on. She wasn’t listening and I’ve learned from past experiences that there was no way she was going to. That’s what led me to my new doctor and I feel really good about the direction we’re going.

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The trifecta I have is the ‘migraine, ulcerative colitis, bladder sensitivity’ one. Yes, it is just as thrilling as it sounds. I want to tell you something extremely important: chronic pain and immune disorders are no joke. They are aggressive, debilitating and draining. And because there is still so much we don’t understand about these conditions, there aren’t really any specific answers on how to ‘fix’ it. I don’t know what the future holds for me but I know that I refuse to ignore my pain. We all deserve to live a happy, healthy life and some of us unfortunately have to fight for it.

There has been a lot of tears shed over these past few months. To have thought I had gained control over my illness only to develop a completely new symptom feels like a cruel joke. When you feel lost and out of control sometimes the only thing you can do is escape for a while. Cory and I decided to escape to the waterfront and enjoy the cherry blossoms before the immanent rain took them all away.

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Do you have a place you go when you need a break or need to seek clarity?

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8Comments

  • Molly {Dreams in HD} / 3 April 2014 1:04

    i’m so sorry to hear about your battle with your health, AND with your doctors! how frustrating it is that the people you are supposed to trust don’t necessarily have what it takes or care enough to do what is right. i am glad you are on a better path, and what a beautiful place to seek serenity!

  • Ellie / 3 April 2014 5:40

    I just watched a documentary called The Punk Singer about Kathleen Hannah and she had the same problem for five years until she was finally diagnosed with lyme disease. It’s such a shame that there are so many dismissive doctors who don’t listen to their patients. I sympathize for you in having to deal with these issues. At least you live in such a beautiful city though. These pictures are seriously stunning.

  • Vickie / 4 April 2014 4:41

    So sorry you have such a struggle with your health & with your doctors – I hope your new path leads to good outcomes. And I hope for you to feel better – even though I know it’s not quite as simple as that, but better even in the smallest ways, so that they can grow & help you keep going & finding the positives in your life.

  • Tori / 5 April 2014 3:51

    Blossom trees never fail to bring a smile to my lips. They are happiness on a branch.

    I can entirely empathise with your situation and that’s hard to say because I never want anyone to deal with the inadequacies I have had to. It took 15 years for me to finally be diagnosed with my disorder (JHS). Years of pain and discomfort that I took to be something every one had because I was never told otherwise, even by the doctors I went to see and discussed my pain with. And those 15 years have taken their toll. I have help, now, after moving to another city, after finding a doctor whose daughter has the same illness. But I’m still not there – I have pain I can’t treat with medication because nothing I’ve found is strong enough, and I can’t do the physiotherapy exercises they have asked me to follow, to strengthen my joints, because they cause more pain. Pain I can’t control.

    I am keeping my fingers crossed for you that the doctors you have now do more for you than any of the others ever have. No one deserves not to be heard. No one deserves to be in that much pain. No one should have to struggle in silence.

    Tori
    xx

    • endlesslyenraptured / 11 April 2014 12:12

      Oh Tori, I am so sad to hear of your struggles. Thank you for your kindness and candidness. Know that I am rooting for you and I hope that you find relief in some form. Don’t ever stop fighting!

      – Jade

  • Le de sociale / 6 April 2014 6:10

    Such an amazing shot of the beautiful bloom!
    Must have been magical to experience it.

    xx
    Giana.LDS
    http://www.ledesociale.com

    • endlesslyenraptured / 11 April 2014 12:13

      Magical is exactly the right word to describe it.

      – Jade

  • Karen / 11 April 2014 3:08

    When we live in pain, so much of our lives are never lived to completion. We make a plan and we take a few steps and then the pain and illness put a stop to our journey or force us to make a detour. When the pain and illness have not easy diagnosis, we are even more frustrated because we can’t seem to tell others why we are in such a state of dis-repair.

    I must say that you have over come mightily. Your imagery and evocative prose is delightful to read. I love it.