A few mornings ago, Jade wanted to take a trip to Powells to pick up Aziz Ansari’s new book, “Modern Romance.” Just a few pages in, we couldn’t help but start reminiscing about our own romance. Jade and I have been together for 8 years now. In some ways it seems like we just met and in other ways I can’t quite remember what life was without her (actually I can, life was terrible… I’d rather not think about it). We just celebrated our 8 years together on August 10th. It’s funny to think that when we first met, online dating was not a socially acceptable. There were dating sites but no one admitted to using them. Jade and I didn’t meet online, but if it wasn’t for using Myspace to develop our initial rapport, it definitely would have been much harder (for me at least) to ask her out the ‘old fashion’ way; gather my courage, call her, and ask for a date.
In “Modern Romance,” Ansari takes an in depth look at dating in the modern world. Online dating is more socially acceptable than ever. People rarely ever call each other and instead use iMessage, text, Snapchat… basically everything and anything that allows us to physically and emotionally distance ourselves with the comfort of screens. It’s incredible that we have the opportunity to meet people now, all over the world, that we wouldn’t have ever had the opportunity to interact with even just a few years ago. But it also leads us down this complex path of finding someone… that ‘perfect’ someone.
Before Jade and I got together we were still quite young (we still are!), I personally never really dated, like in a traditional sense. We both have had girlfriends or boyfriends in the past, but they couldn’t be classified as dating or dates like grown ups traditionally do. There were a lot of “hang-outs” and circumstantial dating; for example, I am at this party and that person was at this party so it was kind of, sort of a date… I think? All in all, we were lucky we found each other when we did because we narrowly escaped the era of digital dating and the labyrinth that so many people are navigating today.
In all honesty, whether it was the past or in the present, taking time out of your life to meet new people, date, and try to find someone you actually want to share your time with is exceedingly difficult. Unless you have one of those type A, super optimistic personalities that can find something you like in everyone you meet, then there is probably less of an issue. But not everyone is like that. In fact, i believe very few people are like that. I’m not going to saying how thankful I am that I don’t have to date now, and that I feel sorry for all those singles who do, because I don’t feel that way. I think making a relationship work whether it is brand new or years in takes commitment, time, patience, love, trust, and a million other little things. I have no jealousy for young love because I’ve been there, and I am more excited about the rooted, growing love I have from my established relationship and where that will lead us.
I’m looking forward to diving into “Modern Romance” further. Have you read it? Even if you haven’t, what are your thoughts on romance in today’s society?